Escaping the expectation trap

I will start with the google definition of what an expectation is – An expectation is a belief about what might happen in the future. Key words here are ‘might happen in the future’!!

Having expectations is a nature of the mind, it just comes to our mind and ‘management’ starts after the fact! Some we create in the form of goals, relationships, career aspirations, self-development, etc. I will not dwell into the different types of expectations, but regardless of what they are, it destroys the present moment, misleading us to an unreal world.

Here I am not saying it is wrong to have expectations, feel free to dwell on it but be prepared to manage your disappointments if they are not met. It is ok to have expectations if they are manageable. Manageable to me means you are happy even if the expectations are not met.  

How does this work in business or professional world? As an example, a sales rep has specific targets to meet his sales numbers, so it is natural to have an expectation to meet or exceed targets.

To be successful, we will need to decouple or let go of the expectation of the result from the work we are performing. This gives us the ability and strength to fully focus on the task at hand. The skill is to attend to the task with sincerity without expectations and see it as a duty rather than a burden. To me, this started with knowing, and then slowly dawned in me that I am here to perform a role so there is no point in getting attached to the job I am performing. We need not force this upon us, just remembering this knowledge should enable us be grounded.

There is however a sharp distinction here, it is not being complacent, or half-hearted, rather it is performing our duty with the enthusiasm and awareness such that our minds don’t get carried away.

It has taken me many years of self exploration to really understand, digest and realise this simple yet complex topic called expectation. Knowingly or unknowingly I was in the trap of expecting people to behave the way I wanted to in challenging situations. This took me away from my self, as a result, my ability and decision making skills were distorted impacting my performance significantly. Most importantly, my personality wasn’t authentic at time, and I am glad I went through this learning.

Impact of dwelling on expectations

• Expectations pulls the mind away from the present moment
• If expectations fuel the ego (I), actions might end up being counterproductive
• Too much focus on expectations clouds the memory and mind starts focusing on the lack which keeps us unhappy instead we should be enjoying what we already have
• It invites negative behavioral patterns, impacts perception and drains the energy

Too much attention on the outcome r results is like celebrating even before the match begins. Those who are satisfied by just doing their duty are truly happy and are not worried. They have the confidence and a strong belief that results will come by when they are performed with love and a sense of gratitude. There is an old saying that we don’t have the right to expect the fruit of an action! I am not sure of the ‘right’ but I am sure that not all effort provide us with the result we want. I am certain that our efforts lead to expected results only when it is aligned with the universal law.

Practical tips to navigating expectations

• Increase self awareness through meditation and breathing
• Commit to living in the present moment
• Practice letting go daily
• Smile more often
• Remember to be grateful and happy with what you already have

The ask is to shift the focus to the task at hand wholeheartedly and consciously let go your expectation of the result to the universe or divine you believe in. This is being in total acceptance of the moment, the truth, and is true happiness.

Please do not see this in the literal sense but recognise the intention and essence of the message to implement this in your daily lives.